Gummy Worms and Surprises

Grandma Dianne was always full of surprises.

One day several years ago I remember walking through the video store with my mom when I rounded the corner of the shelves of DVDs and froze: there, standing with her back to me, was a little old lady with short curly hair who looked strangely familiar. 

“Mom,” I whispered across the aisles. “That lady looks exactly like grandma!” But Grandma was at home in Lakeport, California, probably curled up with a good book and her beloved Jack Russell terrier on her couch. When she turned around, a smile spreading across her face and a mischievous glint in her eyes, you can only imagine my excitement upon seeing that it was Grandma, once again surprising me with her sudden appearance all the way in Greeley, Colorado.

As I got older, one thing never changed: whether she was arriving for Christmas, birthdays, or graduations, every time Grandma appeared she brought with her the same excitement, joy, love, and laughter only a visit from Gram-Grams could entail. The same excitement was shared among my friends, who Grandma Dianne adored enough to consider them honorary grandchildren. Everyone knew when Grandma was in town, not just because we were lucky enough to have her move in for several weeks as a temporary house guest—she was there for moments both big and small, from homecoming coronations to dance recitals to the moment I walked across the stage with my diploma in hand. It’s nearly impossible for me to imagine a chapter in my life that Grandma wasn’t apart of in some way, shape, or form; from playing dress-up with my sister before we were both taller than her and water gun fights in the backyard on a hot summer day, to memorable trips to the beach and to Disneyland, Grandma made every moment an adventure. She was full of tenacity, of vitality, of life, of love, and of laughter that never faltered with age. She had a strong-will, a warm laugh, a hard-head (when she wanted to!), but most importantly, a kind heart. I like to think I inherited some traits from her—my small toes are one feature I know for sure I got from the Owens side of the family. But more than that, what Grandma gave me is not something you can see on the outside; what she taught me is something I will always carry and cherish within my heart. From Grandma I learned that the number of days are insignificant compared to the moments you share with the ones you love; Grandma showed me that the memories you create with those who matter the most are timeless. Every day Grandma showed me that you can never love someone too much, a feeling my mom shared with how deeply she cared about her mother, her closest confidant, and her best friend. I am blessed to have had Grandma Dianne in my life and to have been infinitely loved by someone whom I adored. 

Even when she wasn’t with us in Colorado, Grandma was apart of my life, always just a phone call away from hearing the updates about my friends, my classes, and my life. I am so lucky to have had such a close bond with my Grandma that I always felt like she was never as far away as it seemed. And now, although I may see a little old lady among the aisles at the grocery store, maybe even buying the same gummy worms Grandma loved, and know that it really can’t be my Grandma Dianne, I know that she’s still with me. She is still not as far away as she seems because she, and the amazing memories and moments I’ve shared with her throughout my life will always be in my heart. I love you, Grandma!

Courtney

"Growing old is mandatory. Growing up is optional." (Walt Disney) Thank you for always making me laugh, Gram Grams! I love you!
In loving memory of Martha Dianne Grover, June 11, 1946-March 12, 2015

Airplane Etiquette

I have been on more than my fair share of flights. I have traveled on around 10 flights over the Atlantic. Then hundreds more within the continental US and Europe. And I plan to do so much more. Anyway, I'd like to say I have this down. So forgive me for  providing a few tips to those who have not had the opportunity to fly in a super cool metal tube. 

1. Please ensure all tray tables are stowed and your seats are in the upright position. Please ask before reclining your seat. On my flight to New York, I was working on my laptop like the little studious student I am, and you know there's not a ton of space for a laptop on the tray table. And the lady in front of me threw her seat back. Thank you ma'am. I completely understand wanting to have the leisure of a reclined seat, and I definitely don't want to intrude on that right. But, there's also the ability to speak, so maybe just give us people behind you the warning. 

2. If you're in an aisle seat, please be prepared to move to allow the people next to you to move freely about the cabin (that includes not sleeping the entire flight. In order to do so - chose a window seat). On one of my flights, I was in the window seat and the two VERY NICE gentlemen next to me pretty much took shifts sleeping. I had to pee real bad for a lot of the flight. Needless to say, that wasn't too fun. 

3. Please proceed in an orderly fashion towards the nearest exit. Please don't be pushy when getting off the plane when we have reached our destination. We all have places to be. If you have another plane to catch that you might not make it to, be my guest. But please be respectful of others that are also on the plane. 

When I was learning how to drive, my dad would always say "we all are helping each other getting to where we need to go". Avoid road rage. (Great rule of thumb by the way). But it counts on planes too. There's really no help getting mad at anyone. We all have places to go. Let's all help each other get there. 

4. Also, please proceed in an orderly fashion for boarding time. A mass of people at the gate flooding into the walking area really isn't helping anyone. We can form lines, friends.

5. Keep your hands and feet inside the vehicle at all times. By vehicle I mean seat. Everyone deserves their space. This includes not elbowing the person next to you because you simply must have the both arm rests. Also, the plane is small. I understand that it is harder to keep all limbs in your confined space, but be respectful about. People are generally understanding. Similar to point 1, use your words. 

6. If you complete the puzzles in the Skymall or sky magazine or whatever is provided, please take it with you when you get off the plane. This will allow the next passenger to enjoy his/her own puzzle just as much as you did. I guarantee there's a recycling bin right near the gate. It won't kill you. 

7. If you're on a flight that is anything short of about 6 hours, I swear you'll be okay with leaving your shoes on. Yes, it's comfortable, I get that. I used to always take them off when I was a kid. However, you're also in a small fuselage with a hundred+ people. We don't need that stink in our lives.

8. Be respectful to the flight attendants. They live a hard life of dealing with inpatient passengers and always jetting off to the next adventure (actually that's not too bad of a life... the second part that is). I guarantee there is nothing they can do to get you to your destination faster.  

9. Going off that, don't yell at the captain or first officer. My boyfriend is a pilot and, trust me, they have their hands full steering the metal tube being thrown from one place to another - they don't need you complaining about not making it to dinner with your second cousin twice removed. From all the significant others of pilots, thank you.  

10. There's a very funny episode of Modern Family in which Claire ends up sitting in first class without Phil, and she sits next to a rich girl who basically gets drunk and is really rude to the flight attendant and rude to everyone on the plane. Y'all. Let's be respectful please. Respect is the name of the game.

10. And of course, please use headphones.
I wrote a lot of this while on my flight to New York because I was a little frustrated. Then, 15 minutes before we landed, I looked outside at New York - a place I had never been and was about to explore. And this machinery just got me here in 3 hours. For real, flying is one of the coolest things, in my opinion, humans have accomplished. So now that I've had my rant, really do enjoy that flight. It's really cool. So get out there and travel. Do so with respect, but more importantly have an absolute blast. For both you and myself. And have an awesome time exploring the world. 

À bientôt, 
Emma

My Mother's Daughter

I am my mother’s daughter.

From my long dark hair and eyes to my love of all things chocolate, I am my mother’s daughter. My mom is more than just a role model to me, and more than just someone I know I can always count on; she also happens to be one of my best friends. My mom knows me better than anyone in the world—sometimes I think she even knows me better than myself. She’s the best listener and the best advice giver I know, and (although sometimes it's hard to admit it) most of the time she is right. My mom and I have always been close, but in recent years I’ve come to realize just how much I appreciate and need her in my life. Although I’m only about an hour away from home, I’m not ashamed to admit that I still text or call my mom on a daily basis, and she’s always there to listen to my complaints about homework, stress, boy problems, what I should wear, and everything in between. That’s what moms are for, but really, this is just who my mom is. She’s one of the kindest, most selfless people I know: she volunteers her time with United Way to educate mothers with newborn babies, she spends her free time baking cookies for all of my friends, she does favors for people even when she’s not asked, and she is the anchor that holds my family steadfast through the storm. She’s shown me what it means to love someone with your whole heart, and to completely be selfless for those you love. She’s loved me at times when I’ve found it’s hard to love myself. She’s the first person I share good news with, and the first person I call when I feel like my world is falling apart. She’s always honest with me, and tells me exactly what I need to hear—and when the truth hurts, she’s there to help put me back on my feet. I am my mother’s daughter, and I would not be the same person without her. Every day I am grateful for her compassion, her kindness, her strength, and all that she has given me. Simply put, when I grow up, I want to be my mom.

Courtney 

No Strings Attached?

A lot of you probably read the title and are thinking, "friend with benefits?" So I am sorry to disappoint you if that's what you were expecting because that is certainly not what I will be discussing here. In fact its almost the opposite.

The word Love.

It is a word that is slightly more than overused in today's society.  But what has really been bothering me lately, is trying to define what Love really is.  Why does it exist? How have we let the perception of romance and love become so skewed in modern day society?  I was talking with a friend of mine and she brought up how, particularly with college girls, the idea of romance is incredibly perverted. We have this idea that love comes with strings attached.  That in order for someone to love us, we must do something for them, that we somehow owe them something.  In all honesty, it's probably why the idea of "no strings attached" came to be.  People wanted the physical gratification without the emotional hangups, or the feelings that they somehow were indebted to the other person if he/she loved him/her.  Even more than that, this idea of love coming with "strings attached" pervades all types of relationships.  Now I know this isn't true, but for awhile in high school I thought my parents love was dependent upon how well I performed in school.  And this is entirely absurd. I have been blessed to be raised in a family that truly does unconditionally love me, even when I'm in a mood or being nasty.  Yet this thought was like a parasite in my head, that "the string" attaching me to my parents love, would be severed if I got a C.  I was so worked up about this one day, when I got a C+ in chemistry that I actually started crying.  I was afraid they wouldn't love me due to my lacking performance, as opposed to loving me for just being their daughter.

These strings attached often times come with friendships, too. I don't mean the friendships where you have been inseparable, or have relentlessly loved one another despite your hard-core screw-ups. I mean the friendships that are just beginning to "bloom," for lack of a better term.  In these types of friendships, they feel so fragile to us, that almost by default we attach strings to the love we put upon them.  If they don't make enough time with us, our love in that friendship is terminated as a result of hurt.  We don't give thought to why they may not have had time, or what circumstances that outcome was contingent upon, we just remove ourselves. We put up walls, for we don't want to be hurt. We don't want to be vulnerable.

The last and probably the most important relationship where these types of chords are far too often attached and stuck with super glue, is the boyfriend/girlfriend one. This one is also the most difficult. We have this balance between wanting to be hopelessly in love with our significant other but not wanting to be overbearing with the love we have. This puts girls in particular, in a really sticky situation.  Because we want to keep this balance we are more inclined to comply with wishes we would otherwise say "heck no" to.  In a previous relationship this developed into me always agreeing it was my fault, that we were fighting because I had done something wrong. The idea running through my head was that if I was completely complaisant, there would be no way he could stop loving me. I continued to admit that it was my fault though because I was so fearful of losing the only one who I thought could ever love me. There were even more strings attached in that relationship. Thoughts constantly ran through my head of "if I do this, will he still love me?"  Will he still think I look pretty?  The even worse thoughts were "if I don't do this for him, will he still love me?" By the end, when we did break up, I had absolutely no self-esteem.  The strings that we had created became not only lifelines for our love, but also what I thought about myself.

With all this being said, I don't believe in strings being attached in relationships.  At all. I believe this is the skewed image that is associated with love today.

Instead I believe Love should be a completely selfless gesture.  I want the people I love to see, that it doesn't require any effort on their part for me to love them. They don't have to do anything to earn my love, it simply is.  It is their love to accept through the good, bad, and ugly. It doesn't have conditions. It doesn't have strings. To give an example of the best illustration of love I have in words, actually comes from the Bible.  In 1 Corinthians 13: 4-8 it writes "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps not records of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails."  Now I do not mean to pull a Bible verse on you to shove religion down your throat.  The only reason I picked a Bible verse is because to me, it is truly one of the most accurate representation of what love should be.

Love is not meant to come with strings attached, it is meant to be unconditional.  And when Love is done right, it is beautiful, it is bold, and it is downright terrifying because you are willingly being vulnerable.  But goodness, when Love is done right, with no strings attached, it is one of the most amazing acts humans are capable of upon earth.

With Love,

S.

Letters.

Everyone struggles with figuring out how to sift through every day struggles. And I mean everyone, so here is my way to combat those thoughts of negativity and worthlessness, and to come alongside you in a way that shows you are not alone.  I am going to write you letters. Letters of encouragement, letters of what I believe to be true, and letters very precisely bringing the pain and hurt of today's world to the forefront, and addressing it.  The art of letter writing is one that is being put on the back-burners for people do not see its worth, yet I believe letters are powerful forms of communication and affirmation. Affirmation that you are not alone. That you are beautiful and precious (handsome if you're a fella reading this). And that you are unique and of worth.  With that, I am going to write you your first letter.

Letter #1

Dear You,

I am going to be honest with you.  I don't feel worthy sometimes. I don't feel perfect. I actually feel quite broken, and I firmly believe that I am not alone in that sentiment.  I have heard girls say they need to fix themselves or change themselves for something or someone. But here is what I am going to tell you - beautiful, incredible you.  You do NOT have to fix or change yourself for anyone or anything.  Let me reiterate that because it is definitely not something you hear every day. 

You do not, nor will you ever have to change yourself for anyone.  Never believe that you must be fixed in order to obtain some type of socially set ideal. 

God created you. Not only did he create You, he called you Tov, meaning that you are good, beautiful, and working the way you are supposed to.  He does not call you unworthy, or imperfect, or point out flaws in your appearance as society is all too quick to do today; but rather he considers you perfect in his eyes.  He designed you, with his own hands. He tells you that you are enough for him. You don't have to change, you don't have to feel inadequate just because the socially ideal body shape for a woman is one that is only possible for roughly 8% of women today. 

You are precious.

So please don't think that you are a toy in need of fixing merely because society is stupid in setting its ideals for women (and men). You are a woman, an innately beautiful being. Embrace your quirks and imperfections for they are what makes your beauty unique. They are what sets you apart from every other who tries to homogenize themselves with a silly ideal.  So go out and boldly show off those quirks which make you unique. For they are what makes you, you. And one day, someone will fall in love with you, quirks and all, and will thank God that you didn't "fix" yourself. For merely being yourself, your true self, is one of the simplest, boldest, most beautiful things a girl can do in today's society. 

With Love

S.

Becoming Bolder

I am a recovering perfectionist. Chasing perfection has always been a bit of an addiction for me. Not because I desired praise from others, but because of the rush that came from exceeding my own expectations and knowing that there was no room for being better. I reveled at the lush image in my head of a life where everything was perfectly colored in the lines. The problem was my life was never meant to be contained in lines. No one’s is. 

In high school, my perfectionist ambitions were destroyed one by one, like pulling out a Jenga block from the original structure. Life came crashing down more times than I can count, but each time, I built up my blocks again. Each block of the perfect tower represented something different- a test score, a friendship, a grade, a solo tryout... all little things that I depended on too much for my stability. As time went on, I became more strategic on deciding what was most important to my ability to stand strong. 

When it came down to it, these were my top priorities, my bottom foundation Jenga blocks:

-The recognition that I was doing the absolute best I could.

-Personal happiness above trying to please everyone.

-Having positive people in my life that filled me with joy and inspiration.

Lucky for me, the last tenant was one that was rather unfailing. I had the best friends ever. We were described as “a force to be reckoned with”. They were a huge reason as to why I loved high school so much; they made up for every little “tragedy” I experienced. Our senior year was bittersweet, as we were standing on the border of “real life”, with one foot in the land of “I don’t want this to end!” and the other in “I’m ready for the new!”. We knew what we had was rare and that each day together meant we were closer to being apart. I was nervous. These were my people. They drove me insane but kept me sane. As much as I was someone who needed alone time, I also needed my safety net. I feared that my luck had run out and there was no way I would ever have something so special. Graduation came, the summer flew by, and we were all packing up and about to pave out own separate paths. Everything was about to change, on so many levels. I wished, hoped, and prayed that the current bond between my friends and I wouldn’t change, but that I could find something like it in my next chapter.

I don’t think anyone can really be prepared for college. You go in blind, completely unsure about every little thing, vulnerable as ever, but with each day and with each experience, you gain some clarity and one day, it’s crystal clear- you are truly becoming who you are meant to be. The first few months, I was adjusting, but still trying to find out exactly where I clicked. It wasn’t too difficult though, as I hit the lottery. By some stroke of fate, I got placed on a small, all girls floor. Each and every girl had such a sweet, welcoming soul. Our immediate connection was something electric, something more powerful than I had ever felt before. We were all different, yet similar. Our bond was pure and wholesome and natural. We could spend hours together but it would only feel like minutes- it’s like we have known each other forever, not only a matter of months. These girls were the people I needed in my life so desperately, but I didn’t even know it until I had them. There was something different about this friendship than what I had experienced in high school, something different that I needed. That I wanted. They were my missing link, the extra Jenga block that increased my foundation: unconditional love and acceptance.

My tower can come crumbling down at any second, but they will always be there, standing firm. 

I believe in sisterhood. I believe in remembering the little details and being vulnerable and being so happy your heart feels like it might explode. I believe that we need each other, to teach other, to love each other. I believe in celebrating successes together and lifting each other up. I believe in bubbling with excitement to the point in which everyone is talking at once, and listening to each other all the same.  I believe in crying as therapy, followed by mass amounts of laughter. I believe in three hour brunches and midnight cupcakes. I believe in dancing it out, no matter how stupid you look. I believe in the future and hopes and dreams and reality. I believe in blessings and miracles and star-crossed friendship.

We are growing. We are transforming the world around us with our knowledge, passion, and drive. We share our joys and sorrows. We are strong. We are not alone in facing our fears, we are no longer hesitant. We are becoming bolder. Together. 

xo
Hannah

Meet Melissa.

Hello there! My name is Melissa, and at the beginning of this year I met the incredible girls with whom I share this blog. I have never been a part of a group of girls that meshed this well, and I am so excited to see where this blog (and, you know, our lives) end up!

I am a freshman at CU Boulder majoring in International Affairs and considering pursuing a double major or minor in a variety of subjects at the moment. A Florida native but a Colorado girl, I love being outside and exploring new places and going on adventures. The best view is the one from a horse’s back, and I have been lucky enough to spend a disproportionate amount of my life riding and being inspired by horses. I have a love of words and knowledge, and spend as much of my free time reading as I can (“haha free time” my homework snickered as I write this). I like to dabble, wonder, wander, think, and talk with the people I love most. I firmly believe that laughter is the best medicine, and I have to organize my M&Ms by color before I eat them. I love hearing about different parts of the world and how other people live. I want to spend my life traveling, broadening my own horizons, and pushing myself to limits I didn’t even know I had. 

I couldn't be more excited to spend the next few years in Boulder with these amazing girls, and I can’t wait to see what this blog becomes!

Melissa.

Meet Hannah.

Hey there, I’m Hannah! Resident “mother”, future doctor, drama queen of words, fun loving redhead always looking for a good dance party to crash with my ridiculous moves.

I am studying Integrative Physiology and plan on going to medical school to become a maternal-fetal medicine specialist. I am completely enamored with the human body and its incredible abilities, but even more so, I love helping people. So if you have any health questions, just ask me- I can probably diagnose you based on all the medical journals I’ve read and the surgeries I’ve watched on YouTube. (Completely kidding)

Lover of stripes, coffee, Christmas, tennis, traveling, my dachshund Bella and black cat Jack, summer nights, red rainboots, and J.Crew. You can also find me over here, blogging my love letter to life. 

I am so excited to be blogging with my best friends! They are as precious as gold and I look forward to preserving our thoughts, stories, life lessons, and memories together. Hopefully you’ll love us as much as I love us! ;) 

xo

Hannah

Meet Courtney.

Hi! My name is Courtney, and welcome to our blog! I’m 19 years old and currently studying English at the University of Colorado Boulder, in hopes of one day pursuing a career in editing and publishing. Until then, I’m loving every second I get to spend at this beautiful school with my beautiful friends! When I’m not in class I spend my free time running trails down by Boulder creek, hiking in the mountains, and visiting my family (and my adorable golden retriever, Elle Mae!) in good ol' Greeley, Colorado . I love a good adventure—whether I’m experiencing it firsthand or reading about it in one of my favorite books. My other obsessions include eating copious amounts of dark chocolate, all things related to Harry Potter, coffee, coffee, and more coffee, and my sophisticated and very originally named Manx cat, Mr. Kitty.  

I can’t wait to share snapshots and stories from our lives with all of you! I’m so lucky to have met such wonderful and unique individuals here in Boulder—and I’m even luckier to be able to call them my closest friends! 

Courtney 

Meet Mackenzie.

Welcome to our little corner of the internet that we like to call “Becoming Boulder”.  My name’s Mackenzie and I am so excited to be starting a joint blog with some of my best friends that I was so lucky to meet here at CU.

I’m currently majoring in Political Science and plan to go to law school after finishing my undergraduate.  I was born in Maryland and moved to Colorado when I was six.  I got the “Politics Bug” from my dad and was lucky enough to grow up in a house where watching Election Day footage was as exciting as the Super Bowl, and going to the White House Easter Egg Hunt as a child was completely taken for granted; I memorized the preamble of the Constitution in 4th grade for fun, and went to political campaign rallies before I knew what the difference between a Democrat and a Republican was - and I have loved every second of it.  Washington D.C. is probably my favorite city in the world and I can’t wait to work on Capitol Hill after I graduate, but Colorado will always be my home.

I love to travel, read, spend time with good friends, ski, explore the beautiful town of Boulder, play tennis and much more, and I’m so excited to share it all with you.  To learn more about me visit my personal blog over here.

~Mackenzie~